Book Commercials & Misanthropic Observations

The care and feeding of introverts

• Do you know someone who prefers hours alone every day?
• Who loves quiet conversations about feelings or ideas, and can give a dynamite presentation to a big audience, but claims to not be hungry for loads of new BFFs, even though you don’t believe them?
• Who has to be dragged to parties and then needs the rest of the day to recuperate
• If so, do you tell this person she is “too serious,” or ask if she is okay? Regard her as aloof, arrogant, rude? Redouble your efforts to draw her out?

If you answered yes to these questions, chances are that you have an introvert on your hands—and that you aren’t caring for her properly.

Science has learned a good deal in recent years about the habits and requirements of introverts. It has even learned, by means of brain scans, that introverts process information differently from other people (I am not making this up). If you are behind the curve on this important matter, be reassured that you are not alone.

I know. My name is Brandy, and I am an introvert. I have good social skills. I am far from shy. I love long conversations that explore intimate thoughts or passionate interests.

Now I am here to tell you what you need to know in order to respond sensitively and supportively to your own introverted family members, friends, and colleagues. Remember, someone you know, respect, and interact with every day is an introvert, and you are probably driving this person nuts. It pays to learn the warning signs.

Introverts are not necessarily shy. Shy people are anxious or frightened or self-excoriating in social settings; introverts generally are not. Rather, introverts are people who find other people tiring.

Extroverts are energized by people, and wilt or fade when alone. They often seem bored by themselves, in both senses of the expression. Leave an extrovert alone for two minutes and he will reach for his cell phone. In contrast, after an hour or two of being socially “on,” we introverts need to turn off and recharge. This isn’t antisocial. It isn’t a sign of depression. It does not call for medication. For introverts, to be alone with our thoughts is as restorative as sleeping, as nourishing as eating. Our motto: “I’m okay, you’re okay—in small doses.”

Extroverts are easy for introverts to understand, because extroverts spend so much of their time working out who they are in voluble, and frequently inescapable, interaction with other people. They are as inscrutable as puppy dogs. But the street does not run both ways. Extroverts have little or no grasp of introversion. They assume that company, especially their own, is always welcome. They cannot imagine why someone would need to be alone; indeed, they often take umbrage at the suggestion. As often as I have tried to explain the matter to extroverts, I have never sensed that any of them really understood. They listen for a moment and then go back to barking and yipping.

With their endless appetite for talk and attention, extroverts also dominate social life, so they tend to set expectations. In our extrovertist society, being outgoing is considered normal and therefore desirable, a mark of happiness, confidence, leadership. Extroverts are seen as bighearted, vibrant, warm, empathic. “People person” is a compliment. Introverts are described with words like “guarded,” “loner,” “reserved,” “taciturn,” “self-contained,” “private”—narrow, ungenerous words, words that suggest emotional parsimony and smallness of personality. Female introverts suffer especially. In certain circles, particularly in the Midwest, a man can still sometimes get away with being what they used to call a strong and silent type; introverted women, lacking that alternative, are even more likely than men to be perceived as timid, withdrawn, haughty.

Our lack of small talk is something that extroverts often mistake for disdain. We tend to think before talking, whereas extroverts tend to think by talking, which is why their meetings never last less than six hours.

When you see an introvert lost in thought, don’t say “What’s the matter?” or “Are you all right?” Don’t say anything else, either, please.

Don’t worry, we have years to get to know each other, and we will in small doses over time and I truly believe it will be a richer friendship for it. However, if you won’t be around that long or don’t care to invest years of time, I’m thinking, why waste my time with you now? You can see I value slow and steady relationship over social prostitution- the act of sharing too much too soon and flitting off to the next new BFF.

I have a friend who asked me the other day if I disdain small talk, a common trait of many introverts. I for one, do not. Small talk can lay a foundation for deeper talk later. If that’s what works, ok, and small talk can often be the wiser choice with a new aquaintance. (Once again I refer to social prostitution as something to be avoided)

I don’t remember who, but someone the other day asked me for a link to myers briggs online. Here it is.

shout out to Jonathan Rauch for writing for introverts everywhere in the Atalantic Magazine, March 2003. I have blatantly plagarised his well written words, and then edited them to fit me better than any simple sterotype.

What if homeopaths ran the ER?

ARCHOS 9 PC Tablet

Yea, I’m tracking this like I tracked the Kindle!

ARCHOS

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Brandy & Hannah

Brandy & Hannah

Originally uploaded by Brandy Dopkins

New Year’s Eve at the Y

Day 2: Windows 7 RC

I downloaded the Windows 7 Release Candidate yesterday. This evaluation version will quit working in June 2010- giving me a year to play around with it for free. I suppose the downside is that I will have to purchase the full OS next year instead of a less expensive (I’m assuming) upgrade version.

This OS is loaded on my Everex stepnote – not a powerful machine by any standards. I timed the start-up this morning: 48 seconds. Not bad. And this is the full version of Windows 7 RC- not stripped down in any way for netbooks.

I really, really appreciated the partition control interface in the boot menu. I was so frustrated with the forced partition in vista and tried many things to shrink and expand and delete volumes, even partition magic- no dice. This netbook only has a 70gb hard drive and came partitioned in half, 33gb each (plus the tiny recovery partition. I kept that of course) I pointed my documents to the 2nd partition as well as a couple of programs - but was soo limited in my c:drive space-augh! All better now.

Well, so far the interface feels familiar, a little like Vista with the less heavy graphics and user account control. I knew how to turn UAC off in Vista, in Windows 7 you “turn it down” by degrees. Huh? I want it off. Oh well, I’ll leave it as is for now. It’s not bothering me.

The interface for choosing to log onto “this computer” or my domain at work is confusing to me- instead of a drop down and select which one, you must know the name of the computer or domain and enter it before the username, separating with a slash. I’m sure I’ll get used to it.

We are in the middle of a huge server switch in the office and I’ve opted to wait to join the new domain when it’s all up and running.

Not only have I not run into any troubles in my 2 whole days of vast experience, I had a surprisingly easy time loading work printers, even without joining the domain, AND accessing the shared folders on the old server. So with those 2 things out of the way, why would I even need to join the domain at this point? No applications install trouble yet, even with Adobe CS3 suite.

I needed the touchpad driver to disable the touchpad while my mouse is plugged in. I can’t stand when your cursor jumps around while you type. I downloaded the Vista version and it worked beautifully. I read online that most vista drivers will work with windows 7.

I could go on and on- by now your eyes are glazing over. I’m just gonna go play with my new machine.

Adobe CS3 install solution

This post is relevant to Photoshop Extended CS3, and all Adobe CS3 creative suites. I am publishing it in the hopes of giving one more shot for Google to spit out an answer to the next poor schlep desperate to find a solution - ANY solution, augh!

Cindy Roo got a new computer in April. She had patiently worked on hand me downs from other office staff for years and was FINALLY given her very own gamer machine. We call it the 57 Chevy, cuz it has a Red Chassis and looks like a grill. It was also time to move Roo to Photoshop- she had been using an old copy of paint shop pro for years while I had switched to Photoshop years ago and Kristi and Mary were now using it too. Image editing is pretty integral to all the desktop publishing she does and we need to be able to share files. She also needs Acrobat and was constantly going to a different computer to complete tasks. Simple requirements - I have installed these programs multiple times on many different computers.

But THIS time, I could not complete the install! I tried installing Design Standard Creative Suite AND Web Premium Suite, as well as a single copy of Photoshop. EACH and EVERY time, after spending hours just trying to get to the point where the software asked for my serial number, I still have not gotten anything other than a PS window and an hourglass cursor with the window indicating that Adobe Photoshop CS3 is not responding. No other programs in the suites would even get that far.

Realize, today’s date is June 5th- and I just found the solution YESTERDAY- so it has been well over a month of installing, uninstalling, tech support calls, web surfing for solutions, installing, uninstalling, reformatting the hard drive to have a clean retry, installing, uninstalling, reformatting again. Through it all Cindy remained a very patient uncomplaining co-worker who never had a fully working computer and was often booted off by my maintenance and sent to some other computer for the day.

It wasn’t an option to not have the software she needs to do her job, nor was it feasible to purchase a copy of CS4 for her because we might have been back to file sharing compatibility issues, not to mention the price. I also didn’t give up because the installs worked on computers I had tried before this one.

Here is a site that lists many solutions that have worked for others in the past. I tried EVERY trick listed here- multiple times. http://blog.flexuous.com/2007/07/20/adobe-cs3-install-hell/

But my resolution was found in this Adobe patch for the FNP licensing service, I gave it a shot because it made sense; my hang-up was waiting for the license screen – this patch is not even listed as for XP OR the CS3 creative suites http://www.adobe.com/support/downloads/detail.jsp?ftpID=3750

It worked! Why this patch was needed on this computer and not the others, I have no idea.

Cred goes to this forum for the answer. http://forums.adobe.com/thread/377888

Ammo-chips do work

Remember my test to see if Ammo chips would work? I cut the experiment short by converting that tank to a home for Takeyo.

The Saga of the poorly thought through purchase of neon tetras continues. They have been in the micro tank for 2 weeks, doing fine, I thought. I turned on a light in the tank on Monday to discover they looked completely salted: an Ich infestation! I decided to move them to the spare 12 gallon tank in another room. These poor fish. I could not have planned to put them through more stress if I had tried. So I ended up with a completely uncycled hospital tank, exactly the situation for which was keeping Ammo-chips on hand.

I moved them Sunday night and treated with a Jungle Ich tablet, shut the light out and left them alone overnight. The next morning before work I tested the water and had an ammonia reading of 1.0. Bad enough by itself, but to add that to stressed, ich infested fish was just insult to injury. The problem for me was I had to be at work and did not have time, unless I called in, to do a water change. So I put 1/3 cup if ammo-chips in a nylon sock, tossed the sock into the filter and went to work. When I got home that night and retested the water (AFTER the water change- I didn’t want to make the fish stew while I messed with test tubes, but set aside the water for testing after they had a fresh tank) and the level was 0! yes, 0! I was amazed and relieved. Of course I won’t depend on Ammo chips long term, but they are great in an emergency.

I am now treating the Ich with a water temp of 86 degrees and no salt, since I’ve read that salt is bad for neons, and using Seachem Prime to reduce the stress of a cycle. I continue to be amazed that these fish are alive, and know I have a responsibility to care for them as best I know. They are creatures created by God in my care. All the same, had I realized that they could not live in the big tank without being snacks I would not have gotten them, sigh.

How to do a Fishy Cycle….safely. A step by step guide.

This article confirms my experience. i found it to be very helpful. originally found here: www.tetra-fish.com 

There are other methods of cycling, including fish-less cycling, plant cycling, and the use of seed material for cycling. There are pro’s and con’s that must be weighted carefully when trying to decide what method of cycling is right for you. There is an abundance of information on the web regarding ways of cycling. Due your research and decide what method is best for you.

Not all fishy cycles are crated equal…there is a right way and a wrong way. The right way results in a a cycled tank and live healthy fish. The wrong way may result in a cycled tank with live fish, if you are lucky. But the lives of said fish will be dramatically shortened due to ammonia and nitrate poisoning. The following is a step-by-step guide for doing a fishy cycle. If you follow these step, you will successfully cycle your tank without causing harm to your fish.

PRO’S of the Fishy Cycle
The benefit of a fishy cycle….fish. In the tank, to look at, immediately, which is sort of the reason we keep tanks.
CON’S of the Fishy Cycle
Time. Your time. A lot of it. A correctly done fishy cycle requires twice daily tank care. You must decide up front if you are willing to put in the time required. If not, this method isn’t for you.

Step-By-Step Guide
1. Lets start at the very beginning, a very good place to start

**** If the terms such as bioload, nitrogen cycle, or ammonia/nitrite/nitrate
are unfamiliar to you, stop right here! Please, go to each of the following links and read each article, twice.
Your first tank–
http://www.firsttankguide.net/

Water changes–
http://www.badmanstropicalfish.com/a…article52.html

Cycling, more than you ever wanted to know-
http://www.fishaholics.org/cyberu/cycle/player.html

Then come back here and finish reading.****

2. Clean the tank, yes even new ones. Place your gravel and decor in the tank. Fill with water and add water conditioner. Install and plug in your filter. Install and plug in your heater.

3. Go to the fish store…this is where most people make their first mistake.
The number/size of fish that you use to do a fishy cycle is your choice. However, the bigger your bioload (the amount of waste produced by fish…this is determined by number of fish, size, and to some extent species), the more work you will have to do. My suggestion would be to start with a few small fish, 2 or 3, no more. By small fish I mean danios, neons, guppies, baby platies, small cories, ect. The type and number of fish is dependent upon the size of the tank. PLEASE, ask for advice on this matter in the forums. You will likely get many and varied suggestions. Seek out the advise of a knowledge fish keeper as to what species of fish and how many to stock initially.

CAUTION: DO NOT purchase fish without doing your due diligence. Research! Research!! Research!!! Do not rely on the advice of lfs employee. Do not rely on the advice of your fellow fish keepers. Let your fingers do the walking…search search search. Gather as much information as you can on a particular breed so that you can make an informed decision. These are living creatures….It is your mission (and obligation!), should you choose to accept it, to provide these fishy friends with a healthy safe environment.
End of lecture.

4. Acclimate your new fishy friends, and then net them into the tank.

5. Now the work begins….

6. Starting on DAY 1, every AM and every PM, twice a day, every day, you will test for ammonia and nitrite. If either of these values exceed .25 ppm, you will immediately do a water change. How much you say? As much as it takes! If you have a reading of 4ppm ammonia (or nitrite), not only have you not been following directions, you have a big problem!

A 50% water change will still leave you with 2 ppm of ammonia, which is still a critical level. A 75% water change will still leave you with 1 ppm, still too much. A reading above 2 ppm will likely require two back to back water changes. Yes, really. Yes, this is ok. No, this will not remove all the good bacteria.

7. Rinse and repeat every morning and night.

8. On day 14, start testing for nitrate in addition to ammonia and nitrite.

9. Keep testing, keep changing water. Rinse and repeat.

10. When your ammonia and nitrate test at zero, and your nitrate tests at 5 ppm +/-….. the cycle is complete. You may now rejoice.

First hand experience from an aquarium newb

I am learning first hand what a difference a cycled tank makes. The Donna’s have really needed very little maintenance; every day I check their water and it shows no ammonia or nitrites. I feed them and move on. I will do regular water changes based on their nitrate, but it’s still reading really low and I’m learning through the tests how long I can wait between changes.

Meanwhile, Takeyo’s tank is cycling because I didn’t do a fish-less cycle on his tank before I got him. He looks terrible, his tail is trashed, but he’s still very active and that’s great. Every time I do a test his nitrites read 1.0 or more, which is sooo bad for any fish. I’ve now been doing 70% water changes every 12 or so hours and the work seems never-ending. I know some people would ask why I work so hard at it, and the answer is: this is a living thing. A creature God made and I agreed to take care of him as best I know how. So if I know that nitrites are not supposed to be that high for the health of a fish, I know that this is a process called cycling and it’s not a surprise (I regret not doing a fish-less cycle before I got him.) and I am the only person responsible for changing his water- well I gotta do it.

But what I learned from this is how much easier to cycle the tank without fish. You can let the levels skyrocket because you are not simultaneously trying to care for a living thing. Having the 2 tanks side by side really drives the point home.    

Take my advice: cycle your tank BEFORE you get any fish.

Eli

Eli

Originally uploaded by Brandy Dopkins